Husband refuses to open door for food delivery man who his wife knew from work, was afraid to expose her location to: 'To me this is a safety thing'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 21, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Being a woman can mean having a sixth sense for a guy who might cross a line one day. Whether it's someone on the street, a neighbor, or someone you see at work, you might have reasons to have your guard up around someone, even if it's just intuition. You hate to say it, but this is kind of the world that we live in. If someone sets off your red flags, you should probably trust your gut. 

You also hope that those who love you also trust your intuition. You hope that they have your back in these kinds of situations and aren't going to second guess you. It's bad enough to feel like you might be in trouble, and it's even worse when those around you don't believe you or don't want to help you out when things get tough. Especially if it's as simple as opening the door for a DoorDasher. 

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  • 01

    AITA for wanting not wanting to grab our food from the DoorDasher?

    This may sound silly, but I'm fuming a little and need to know if I was out of line. Tonight my husband and I ordered out for dinner, and when I saw the name of our doordasher, I recognized it. We
    via u/Waste-Astronomer5137
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10507992064
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But that's what happened in this relationship when a woman was nervous about opening the door to someone from work which set off her red flags. But when her husband refused to step in and help her, she was left wondering if she was somehow in the wrong. Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • 03
    live in a small town, and this is a man who frequents my work. I asked my husband if he could grab the food from the doordasher, because I didn't want the guy to know where I lived.
    via u/Waste-Astronomer5137
  • 04
    My husband immediately got cagey about my question. He has recently been acting jealous whenever I speak of men in basically any way, and the way he responded to my question really bothered me. He fought me on why I wouldn't want this guy to know I lived here. I'm like, 'for
    via u/Waste-Astronomer5137
  • 05
    one, I'm in my pj's, and for two, I just don't want a random dude that comes into my work to know where I live, why is that weird?' And he defends this man that he doesn't know saying 'he's just trying to do his job'. I got so frustrated I walked away, he said he wasn't trying to fight, but to me this is a safety thing.
    via u/Waste-Astronomer5137
  • 06
    For reference, I'm a cashier in a small store in our small town. He would definitely recognize me. He also doesn't know my name (we don't wear name tags at work) so he wouldn't have known it was my house from my order. So Reddit, AITA for asking my husband to grab our food from the DoorDasher?
    via u/Waste-Astronomer5137
  • 07

    Commenters took her side in this marital dispute.

    nessabobessa82 14h ago . NTA. Your husband is problematic. If you say you don't feel safe, he should WANT to help you feel safe. He's weird about men because he is not acting normally. There are many stories all over social media
    via u/nessabobessa82
  • 08
    of food delivery drivers trying to enter homes, harass women, and act inappropriately. Your safety should be far more important than his defense of a man he doesn't know.
    via u/nessabobessa82
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10507992320
    via Ksenia Berzoj

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    Good_day_Sonsh... • 14h ago I think everyone has covered your question but I have one of my own. Could he have just left it on the porch?
    via u/Good_day_S0nsh1ne
  • 11
    Lorazepam369 • 14h ago . NTA. And multiple red flags here. The jealousy, the instant defensiveness, the demand for a "valid" reason, not understanding your boundaries, not being concerned with your safety. or comfort..... who knew so many issues could be exemplified in such a simple scenario.
    via u/Lorazepam369
  • 12
    To clarify, I put valid in quotations because it's weird he needed a "good enough" reason at all. I'm usually a "do it myself" person, sometimes to the point of stubbornness, but if I'm curled up cozy on the couch and just say "hey could you grab that" my partner just gets up and does it and I would do the same for him. This is bizarre behavior that seems to signify deeper issues.
    via u/Lorazepam369
  • 13
    SnowflakeSWorker 14h ago . I ran an outpatient for anger management and s offenders. Ordered a pizza from a local spot, and one of my clients rocked up with the pizza. All I had to say to my ex-husband was, please get that order. He was used to me recognizing people. and also not wanting them to know where we lived. I didn't say a thing other than that.
    via u/SnowflakeSWorker
  • 14
    Pladohs_Ghost • 14h ago NTA. Why are you married to a man who wants to start fights by defending a stranger and wanting you to feel unsafe?
    via u/Pladohs_Ghost
  • 15
    Legitimate-March... 14h ago Your husband is absolutely clueless about the safety issues women face on a daily basis. We have to be constantly vigilant. Educate him.
    via u/Legitimate-March9792
  • 16
    Ecstatic-Fee-5623 · 14h ago I just saw a tiktok this morning of a door dasher trying to kick a women's door down. He sent a picture of her food "walked away" then ran full force at her door trying to break it down. She called 911 and everything, your man doesn't care about you or your safety. NTA
    via u/Ecstatic-Fee-5623
  • 17
    ScarletNotThatOne 14h ago . NTA and your husband should not have given you grief around it. You asked for his help, you didn't need an argument.
    via u/ScarletNotThatOne
  • 18
    Ruth Bourbon 14h ago . NTA but your husband sure is. If he's a regular customer and it would make you uncomfortable for him to know where you live, it's very understandable you wouldn't want to pick up the food at the door.
    via u/RuthBourbon
  • 19
    I used to work in a library and encountered a couple of regular patrons outside of work and it made me really uncomfortable, and it wasn't even my home.
    via u/RuthBourbon
  • 20
    totallyworkinghere 14h ago NTA. Your husband sounds like a piece of work. Was he just looking for a reason to not believe you?
    via u/totallyworkinghere
  • 21
    Buffalo-Empty · 14h ago NTA. It's totally valid to not want someone to know where you live. Man or not. Safety is across the board.
    via u/Buffalo-Empty
  • 22
    What's not okay is your husband doubling down just to prove a point (what point idk). And it actually would make me question his faithfulness in your relationship. Especially when it's all of a sudden, if he's pointing accusing fingers at you, you should 100% be looking right back at him. He could be hiding something.
    via u/Buffalo-Empty
  • 23
    EmceeSuzy 14h ago You are NTA and your husband is a clod.
    via u/EmceeSuzy
  • 24
    Accomplished Fac... 13h ago • Am I the only one who thinks his sudden issue with her talking about other men, probably stems from him cheating, or thinking about it? This dude is one giant red flag!
    via u/AccomplishedFace4534
  • 25
    Firm Commission... · 14h ago . NTA in any way shape or form and if he didn't want to grab it from the guy either why didn't he just ask him to leave it on the porch or outside? sounds like he was just looking to pick a fight with you, which is always a red flag.
    via u/Firm_Commission_775

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